The pandemic we saw in 2020 has had lasting impact – disruption and devastation. One of its lasting side effects is what I call the human capital revolution. Professionals are rethinking their way of life after a few years of working from home. Career orientated individuals are reclaiming their commute time, spending more time with family and deciding to focus on their passion projects. All the whilst detaching from the rat race that corporate life can thrust you into. The phrase ‘quiet quitting’ is a new one. I came across it on social media and believe the pandemic has played a huge part in its emergence. TikTok user @zaidleppelin described ‘quiet quitting’ as ‘quitting the idea of going above and beyond’ at work. As soon as I heard that I thought about how this could and does apply in romantic relationships. Is it possible that you can be in a relationship and be ‘quiet quitting’ on your partner?

Do you no longer have any desire to do those ‘little things’ for your partner that will make their eyes light up? If so you might be ‘quiet quitting’. Doing the bare minimum is relative and the parameters of your relationship will determine what that means. On that note, if you are;

  • Having second thoughts about doing nice things,
  • If you are deciding to stop certain acts of love,
  • If you feel as though for whatever reason you no longer feel like serving your partner,
  • If you no longer care to go out of your way to enrich your partners life,

Then you might be quiet quitting. Your partner may or may not have noticed you pulling back, they may in fact be doing the same thing. Nonetheless when you recognise your behaviour and want to change it, I propose the ‘loud dedication’ method.

The loud dedication method is grounded in behavioural change. It focuses on being loud in demonstrating your dedication to your partner. When I say loud I don’t mean walking around announcing when you are about to do something thoughtful for your partner. Rather it is about boldly doing the things that you know will make your partners eyes light up. It is about disregarding any voice that will deter you from changing your behaviour. and beginning once again to go above and beyond in your relationship. Some examples are;

  • Your partner plays football every Wednesday evening, so you pack his gym bag with all his stuff ready the night before.
  • Your partner loves flowers so you remind yourself of their favourite colour and set up auto pay to get flowers delivered every fortnight.
  • Your partner has been craving some time to connect so you pull out your PDAtheGame deck of cards to be played after dinner.

Dedication is shown through your consistency. The things that you are about to start doing again are not a one off but rather a step in a chain of events that will get you back to building love, living passionately and intentionally serving. You don’t have to and shouldn’t quiet quit on your relationship. If there is a specific reason why you might be giving up on your relationship. It is worth talking about – our FREE ‘WORK IT OUT’ digital cards will help you do that. You can download them here. If you’ve lost your mojo (this happens to the best of us) then make a decision today to put in place the ‘loud dedication’ method and start loving fully once again.